Are you deflated by the 23-year-old tech wizards who are making a billion with their new App whilst you can barely afford a Lidl weekly shop? Are you sick of seeing your friends on Facebook with their gorgeous husbands whilst you’ve been single for the last 7 years without a sniff of a relationship? Are you depressed because at 45 you are still paying off loans whilst your mate swans around in his new Land Rover Velar?
Did you think by the time you reached 40 you would be “SET”? As in financially, personally and emotionally? Did you think by the time you were 40 you would have everything figured out and life would be bloody marvellous?
If you did and you’re not where you thought you would be then I have excellent news for you!
YOU’RE EXACTLY WHERE YOU’RE MEANT TO BE!
I know when I was younger, I had set targets of what I needed to achieve by the time I was 40.
Have I achieved them?
Was I upset I didn’t achieve them?
And here are the 5 reasons why:
- Don’t compare yourself to other people
You know this already, I know you do, but yet you do compare and it’s the biggest waste of energy in the world. As I’ve said on a number of my podcasts and blog posts, you are unique and to quote myself: “You are unique. There is nobody else like you on the planet and there never will be, therefore trying to compare yourself to somebody else is a pointless exercise. It’s like comparing apples and tomatoes. Take my advice, 100% embrace who you are and what you are because you are special.
Also, It’s all a Mirage anyway. If you want to get deep and meaningful and more real with this stuff, then it’s a case of understanding what someone is projecting to the outside world probably isn’t always the reality of what is going on inside. Of course, we are not wishing someone bad in their private life, of course not, but it’s a case of being slightly more savvy when the comparison monster rears its head. All is not always as is it seems all the time.”
- Later is better!
Up until I was 35, I used to work in real estate. In fact, I was super-duper successful and going places. I knew from a young age that I wanted to be a Chartered Surveyor (bizarre thinking about it) and consequently, I had my career map figured out when I was about 12, and followed that map until I realised at 35, with a massive reality check, that I was doing the wrong thing!
I had been so focused on my career goal at a young age, that I didn’t give myself time to think about the alternatives, to explore the world and get to know myself better. In fact, I thought people who went travelling after school and “took time out” were either lazy or committing career suicide.
How wrong was I?
The fact was, choosing my career at such a young age, was wrong. I don’t believe in regrets as you know, but the fact of the matter is, I should have waited to find myself before committing to a career.
Same with relationships. I’m not sure why exactly, relationships always seemed to come easily for other people, but I always always struggled. But I had faith and I knew the right person would show up when he was meant to and he did. When I was 35 and I’m soooooo happy I waited.
What I’m trying to say is, later is most definitely better.
Trust, me, what you want when you are younger, I can pretty much guarantee will not be what you want when you are older: relationships, career, lifestyle, houses etc. So, I’m going to be as bold as to say, being behind the curve in terms of achieving life goals is better.
It honestly truly is.
Just wait and you will have the last laugh, past experience has taught me this.
- People are envious of you.
Yes, they are!
I can guarantee, whatever your circumstances: single, no money, no career, small house, no kids etc. friends, family, colleagues will be envious of your life, probably because you’re cheery with a lack of serious commitments! I’ve (quite rightly I think) shied away from growing up too quickly, it makes you boring. I’ve always struggled to understand why people rush into relationships, have kids and get huge mortgages so young because all it does is add pressure and stress to generally already stressful lives.
My point here is and it links back to point 1, “having it all” normally comes at a price which can mean being a slave to a job or relationship for instance.
Do you want that?
So, what if you haven’t moved into your massive forever home by the time your 40? It’s more important to analyse if your happy in life generally than whether you’ve achieved a social status symbol.
- It’s Exciting
Yes, you read that correctly. It’s exciting when you don’t get what you want because life is extremely boring when everything goes to plan, it really is. Whereas, the unexpected or unattained, can force you onto a new path, one you wouldn’t have dared travel on before, which can lead to a whole new world that you would never have encountered.
Think back now to the things that haven’t gone well or you didn’t achieve, I bet most of them have led you to a better place than you would have been if you had say got the job?
Not achieving what you want is only a mind-set anyway.
It’s not real.
So, flip your mind-set.
Instead of looking at your situation negatively, see it as an opportunity, see the positives in where you are. What can you do that other people can’t?
- It’s Meant to Be
“What’s meant to happen will happen.”
Can’t remember who told me this, not sure if it’s a famous quote (it must be), but the fact is, there is no truer statement in the world than this.
So, what if you’re not where you think you should be? So, what?!
Trust, and know that you are exactly where you need to be right now. As I said above, moping around and moaning about your situation is not going to make it any better!
I don’t wish to sound all wooooo wooooo here, but you are where you are for a reason and the worst thing you can do is fight it.
Thoroughly embrace where you are.
Write out a list of all thing things that you are grateful for in your life and in particular, write out what’s good about the situation you are thinking you have under achieved in!
Flip your mind-set!
Be in love with where you are in your life right now.
I leave you with:
“There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you are meant to be.” – John Lennon
Want to flick the Instant Happiness Switch? Then download my FREE E-Book: The Happiness Revolution: Instant Happiness
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