How To Handle Being In A Job You Hate……I can’t stress enough how often I deal with this issue in my coaching practice and recently I was lucky enough to interview for my podcast Ruth Kudzi and we discussed many many things, but in particular we talked about how to handle yourself when you’re in a job you hate.
In this blog post, I’ve picked out the vital parts of our conversation for you to read.
Literally, word for word.
It’s a corker.
You’ve got two of the UK’s leading coaches: Me – Gemma McCrae and Ruth Kudzi telling you what you should do if you’re in this situation.
So if this is you, I strongly advise you read every inch of this blog.
Then skip to the summary section at the bottom!!
Prosperity Kitchen: Can you tell the listener a little bit about who you are?
Ruth: OK. So I’m Ruth Kudzi. I’m 41 years old and I am married. I have got two kids, Jessica and Sophia, who are 4 and 2 and we live in South East London in a place called Sydenham which is famous for Jason Statham from Lock Stock grew up here. So my daughters sound like they are in Lock Stock. You can imagine the accent. I grew up in Buckinghamshire. So I grew up in a little village called Quainton. Lived there for 18 years and then decided that I don’t ever want to live in a little village again. So we live in, kind of, zone 3 but we’re actually considering moving out to, maybe, zone 5 but not leaving London yet and I said that village thing because I can definitely see, as I’m getting older, my gravitating back towards the countryside which is quite interesting.
Prosperity Kitchen: Tell us what you do professionally.
Ruth: I love that word professionally. So I’m a coach. I’m an accredited coach and business mentor. So I do lots of different things with that, from 1-1 coaching to group programmes to memberships. And that’s kind of my bread and butter. I’m also a published best-selling author. I always say that with a little bit of surprise in my voice because, yeah, I never thought I’d do it. So I brought a book out last year and I’m going to bring out another book, probably by the end of this year.
Prosperity Kitchen: Perfect. You’ve come on to talk about a subject that I’m frequently consulted on in my coaching practice. And that is, in a nutshell, how somebody can actually leave a job that they hate, or don’t like, or leave their job, when they have financial commitments. Now, before we actually get into that though, can we just start with current jobs. When do you think it’s that time for somebody to stop the moaning and think, right, actually I’ve got to change my job. What are the signs? What do they need to look out for?
Ruth: Well the moaning’s really interesting actually because I think that if you’ve been moaning, and we all moan. Anyone who says they don’t moan is a complete liar. We all moan at times but, I think, if you’ve been moaning consistently for at least 3 months and nothing has changed and you’ve tried to make the situation change and you’ve spoken to people, it’s time to move. Because if it’s making you that unhappy that you’re talking about it that much then it’s time to move or make a change. I also think that you know, you know when it’s time to leave. I mean, I’ve stayed in jobs for so much longer than I should have, could have, needed to, because I was scared. So I think there’s something there about really getting into your feelings and how you’re feeling about it because, if you’re not happy, and it’s not something that’s going to change and it’s going to stay the same or get worse, then it’s time for you to move on. So, it’s probably a pretty scary thing to be thinking about, like actually I’m not happy in my work but when you make that commitment everything changes.
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Prosperity Kitchen: Yes and that’s well said. So basically, if you’re sitting there and you need that tangible proof, then if you’ve been moaning and whinging and not happy for over 3 months then it’s probably time that you start to look around. And you also said something really important – make sure that you try to do something about it as well. Don’t just get up and leave. Make sure that you’ve tried to rectify whatever it is you’re not happy about. Is that right?
Ruth: Yes because you don’t know if you have a conversation with your manager or your supervisor or with anybody at work, you don’t know if you can make that situation different and you can make the job different. I’ve worked with people in the past who have moved departments or they’ve done different things or they’ve worked in a different way and that’s meant that they’ve stayed in a job for longer and they’ve been happier for longer. So always do something first I think.
Prosperity Kitchen: Yes and it’s that saying ‘only moan to somebody that can do something about it if you’re going to moan at all’. And you said, the real golden nugget there which is so true which leads onto another topic really is that you do know, if you really quiet yourself and listen to your gut instinct, you actually know when it’s time to go. We just tend to ignore it because we’re scared.
Ruth: Yes you do know. If you listen to your gut, and they’re finding more and more thats where we keep feelings, we keep everything in our gut, if you listen to your gut and it’s saying to you ‘leave’, pay attention to that because it’s never wrong.
Prosperity Kitchen: Now, if somebody is in a job that they don’t like and they defo need to move, how should they be acting whilst they’re in that job that they don’t like?
Ruth: You need to maintain professional. I’m laughing because whenever I think of that, there was an episode in Towie, right at the beginning when I used to watch it and two of the girls had fallen out over a boy and they were like ‘just be professional’. But actually you do need to be professional. You don’t want to be going into work moaning because, remember, the last experience that people have of you is going to be the lasting experience and you never know if, in the future, you might apply for a job with somebody who used to work with you. I always find the world is so small. I’m not sure if you do. I always find the world is so small. So many times they’re like ‘oh OK I know so and so that you used to work with’. So don’t become toxic. Don’t moan all the time. Instead, think about how you can do your job to the best of your ability whilst getting out there as quickly as possible.
Prosperity Kitchen: And you’re so right. The world is so small. Particularly the business world and particularly if you’re in a particular industry. I’ve been bitten on the bum by this before actually and you’ve got to be really careful. Plus, what does being toxic actually achieve? It doesn’t achieve anything. So just try to grin and bear it. You’ve got a plan. You know you’re moving forward. Just act professional whilst you’re still in that place.
Full Podcast Interview with Ruth
And the interview continued onto how to leave your job to start a business and you can listen to the full interview here.
Summary – How To Handle Being In A Job You Hate
So in summary, when you HATE your job we advise:
- Before you do anything, identify what it is you don’t like and try to rectify the siltation.
- Instead of leaving review other options within your company – moving teams, departments, location or role.
- If you’ve been unhappy about your job for more than 3 months it’s time to leave.
- DO NOT MOAN to various colleagues. Only moan to the person who can do something to help you.
- The business world is small, ACT PROFESSIONAL whilst hating your job. Don’t become bitter or slag off your company. You never know who you will need in the future!
- Make a plan. Work with coach like me and be proactive in taking your job change forward.
I hope this helped you.
Gemma is a leading Life Coach & Business Coach, Award Winning Podcaster and the owner of Prosperity Kitchen. Regularly featured in the national press, Gemma is one of the “go to” people on Life Coaching & Business Coaching. Gemma counts VIPs, High Net Worth Individuals, Entrepreneurs, Career Professionals, Stay at Home Parents and all manner of other amazing people as her clients.
She specialises in Personal Development, Career Coaching, Employee Coaching, Executive Coaching, Confidence, Motivation, Health and Small Business Coaching
Ruth Kudzi is a business mentor, mindset coach and best-selling author who has worked with 1000s of clients worldwide. She combines practical business skills with a MA in Psychology and numerous coaching qualifications including NLP to help her clients build businesses they love.
Ruth works with coaches, consultants and service providers to help them build and scale their businesses and has been seen in The Metro, Women & Home, The Guardian, Psychologies, Thrive Global, Huffington Post and Business Insider.
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