How to not to care what other people think of you is a liberation.
Honestly a liberation.
It was a skill I learnt to master through Coaching and it’s helped me move forward in my life BIG time.
Below are the 10 tips I give my Client’s to help them liberate themselves from worrying what other people think:
- Pick your Tribe
Select a few people in your life whose opinions matter to you and use them as your moral compass.
Acknowledge in advance that these are the only people whose opinions matter and these are the only people whose comments you will care about.
Ignore the rest.
- Others don’t care as much as you think
Aside from family and close friends, I can guarantee that nobody is paying you much attention.
Sorry to break the news, but unless you are say Britney Spears or Adele, interest will be limited.
What about if you’ve embarrassed yourself?
There may be a bit of interest in you, but trust me it will fade away.
Basically, don’t think you are in the forefront of people’s minds.
You not. Sorry
- It’s none of your business
There are going to be people who don’t agree with what you do or what you say; that’s their prerogative and really, it’s none of your business.
It’s their thoughts, their opinions; it’s not for you to worry about.
In the instance of someone challenging you on something you have said or done; the most powerful thing you can do (and also mean) is to say
“What you think of me is none of my business.”
- Intentions are not always good
Unless you’ve specifically asked for someone’s opinion, I would be suspicious regarding the intentions to tell you what they think.
Unless somebody is being nice or providing constructive criticism (that you’ve asked for) I would argue they are purposefully being destructive.
If someone is purposefully being destructive I would analyse why?
- Don’t give them cause to gossip in the first place
I genuinely don’t care what people think of me; coaching has helped me with this and it’s extremely liberating EXCEPT for one scenario: when I’ve done something I’m ashamed or embarrassed about.
Then I become worried and genuinely so.
Lesson learnt: don’t do things that I know are going to embarrass me.
If I do something silly (everyone does) then I try to understand why I did it and how not to do it going forward AND then move on.
Don’t dwell on the things you’ve done wrong.
It won’t help.
Acknowledge the lesson.
Move on and don’t keep discussing it.
- Accept who you are
Wasting time and energy worrying what other people think of you can be better spent investing in you.
Accept and embrace who you are.
Write down a list of the things you like about yourself. Be proud of your uniqueness.
Also write a list of the things you would like to improve about yourself. What steps can you take to remove some of these points?
Accept you are not perfect.
Nobody is or should be.
- Other people are not in possession of the full facts
Nobody aside from you is in the possession of the full facts about you and therefore can’t judge you on what you do.
Don’t feel the need to constantly justify your actions to other people.
Move forward in life with the confidence that you and only you are in possession of the full facts and you are the only one who can properly assess your life situations.
- Conduct yourself honourably
If you treat people honourably then you are not going to have anything to feel self-conscious about.
Sounds simple and it is simple.
Conduct your life in an honourable way and I can guarantee you won’t care what people think.
- Not everyone is going to like you
It’s taken me 40 years to work this one out.
Please accept that some people are just not going to like you; irrelevant of what you do.
Don’t try to understand it; it just happens.
Again it’s their prerogative ; try not to waste too much time worrying about it.
- You won’t move forward in life
If you worry about what others think; you won’t move forward in life.
It really is as simple as this.
At some point, you need to make a conscious decision to not concern yourself with what other people think.
To repeat you need to make a conscious decision.
As stated above; listen to your Tribe; consciously ignore the rest and move forward.
I hope this has helped