My self-development journey over the past 10 years has been phenomenal and I like to think I’m becoming a better version of me day by day.
I’m striving to be a better person, and I’ve realised with age, that being a better person, being kind and being considerate is definitely better than the alternatives to them.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt is the art of surrendering and I would like to share this lesson with you now.
Art of Surrender
I can remember the exact moment I decided to learn the art of surrender and that was when after multiple miscarriages, I was laying on my bed upset after another negative pregnancy test. Something flicked in my mind and I remember thinking I’d had enough of striving to get pregnant and I was going to let it go.
It sounds cringe, but it’s the absolute truth.
In that moment I realised I had tried my hardest, but it simply wasn’t working and I needed to let go otherwise it would take over my life.
So, I did.
I spent the summer sunbathing, relaxing and enjoying myself.
Consequently, I ended up getting pregnant naturally…..
When to Surrender
I think because of my training as a Coach, I was able to surrender fairly easily actually, because looking back it was brave of me.
I desperately wanted a baby, but I realised that doing what I was doing wasn’t working and I had to let to go.
Now bear in mind, I was 40.5 years back in the summer of 2017, so time wasn’t necessarily on my side, but by working through the thought process below, I had the clarity I needed and I was able to step back with joy (honestly, I remember feeling free) and allow things to unfold how they were meant to unfold.
How to Surrender
The Chinese call it “Wu Wei” which translated into English means “no trying” and this principle is based on a paradox which is that you can only attain a state of effortless ease when you become really good at what you do.
How do you become really good at what you do? With lots of practise and effort of course.
Now I took the Wu Wei concept and put my own spin on it and this is where the golden lesson kicks in:
If something in your life is not going to plan, then as long as you’ve made enough effort and you are comfortable that you can do no more, then it’s a case of shutting down and letting it go.
It’s really as simple as that.
Make a conscious effort to stop trying, stop trying to push for the result, let it all go and see what unfolds.
Why does this work?
Because if you can do all you can do, if you’ve tried your hardest to make things work and they haven’t, you can gracefully stop trying and be comfortable in the knowledge you did all you could do.
Your mind will be at ease.
If your mind is at ease, then your body will be at ease.
If both your body and your mind are at ease, you will be happy.
When you’re happy, good things come to you.
So, if you’re reading this and something you’ve been desperate for isn’t happening, then I want you to ask yourself the following question:
“Have I done all I can do to make this thing happen?”
If the answer is no, then identify what else you need to do and do it!
If the answer is yes, then LET IT GO.
Let it be.
I leave you with:
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.” – Lao Tzu
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