How well do you know your Partner?

After a few years, it’s easy to forget why you got together in the first place!

The thrill of joint bank accounts, mortgage payments and kid’s tantrums can take away the desire for passion.

The want to be together.

So, I’ve come up with a set of questions to ask each other to try and bring “connection” back into your relationship.

Unfortunately to make this exercise work, you will have to examine the bad as well as the good. So, make sure your Partner knows this before you begin.

Remember this a proactive exercise that is going to improve your relationship, so listen attentively to what your Partner says.

Put your mobile phones away and do this when you have some peace and quiet together.

The Questions

  1. How do you show love?
  2. How do you like to receive love?
  3. What do you love about our relationship?
  4. What do you love most about me?
  5. What’s your favourite memory of us?
  6. What do you want to do more of?
  7. What do you miss about us?
  8. What do you respect most about me?
  9. What have you learnt from me?
  10. What are you tolerating in our relationship?
  11. What need of yours am I not meeting?
  12. What do I do that makes you cross?
  13. When you get home from work how do you want me to act in the first few minutes?
  14. What do I say or do that you find most irritating?
  15. What do I say or do that makes you uncomfortable when in public?
  16. How much time apart do you want to have?
  17. How much time do you want to spend alone together?
  18. How will I know you need space?
  19. What activities do you want to do together?
  20. How shall I act if you are having a bad day?
  21. How shall we resolve a situation where we don’t agree with each other?
  22. How touchy feely do you want us to be?
  23. Do you like to be touched?
  24. What do you find most attractive about me?
  25. What do like me to wear?
  26. What do we argue about most?
  27. What about our personalities is likely to give us a recurring problem?
  28. What about our finances is likely to give us a recurring problem?
  29. What about our children is likely to give us a recurring problem?
  30. What about our family is likely to give us a recurring problem?
  31. What about our living situation is likely to give us a recurring problem?
  32. What about our work lives is likely to give us a recurring problem?
  33. What can we do to avoid arguing?
  34. Are you sexually satisfied?
  35. What would you like us to do more of sexually?
  36. When do you prefer to have sex?
  37. What’s your biggest sexual turn off?
  38. Is there something you want to do sexually but have been too afraid to ask?
  39. How will we know if our relationship is in trouble?
  40. What’s been our biggest relationship mistake?
  41. What can we do going forward to ensure our relationship stays strong?
  42. What memories do we want to create?
  43. What are your ambitions for life?
  44. How do you happily want to live the rest of your life?

Read up on the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman before you do this exercise. It will help.

Gary Chapman says there are five ways of giving and receiving love in a relationship and it’s important to understand what yours and your Partners are.

The languages are the following:

  1. Words
  2. Acts of Service
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Quality Time
  5. Physical Touch


For more information see


Good luck!




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