It’s easy to moan about your partner, but do you realise how damaging it can be if you constantly do it? Particularly to the wrong people?
Warning. I’m going to be brutal.
People will wonder why you are together
If you’re slating your partner, people will start to wonder why you are together.
Probably talk behind your back as to the integrity of the relationship.
Is that what you want?
Makes you look weak
Persistently moaning about your other half can make you look weak.
If they are that annoying, why are you with them? Are you too weak to leave?
Change the record.
Don’t be that person whose only conversation is to slag off their husband. It wears thin and you become boring to other people.
People don’t want to hear it.
You will get more of what you focus on
Focusing on the negatives is going to attract more of the negative from your partner.
Turn the situation around and focus on their positives. Talk about the good things they do.
People won’t trust you
If you are slagging off your wife or your husband, it’s highly likely you slag off everyone.
It just doesn’t look (or sound) good. Makes you seem untrustworthy.
You’re not perfect
I’m assuming you are perfect?
Just be careful what you are moaning about because odds are you are equally annoying in another way.
How would you feel?
If the shoe were on the other foot, how would it make you feel if your husband was slagging you off to his mates?
Not nice is it?
Think how they will feel if they knew
Probably upset. Likely hurt.
Assuming you love your partner, do you want to intentionally hurt them by discussing their negatives with a third party.
Think how embarrassing it is for them.
Turn your friends against your spouse
This is the most damaging one.
If you are persistently moaning, it may turn your nearest and dearest against your partner.
What for you is an innocent moan, can have a serious effect on the way your friends think about your partner.
Particularly if they don’t know her or him.
Who can you moan to about your partner?
You obviously need to be able to talk to someone, so who should that be?
The best person to vent your frustration too is them.
Not mid argument though.
If something is persistently niggling at you, make a note of it and bring it up your partner when appropriate.
Go for a walk together, go out to dinner or write a letter.
Explain what’s upsetting you and why. Take it from there.
Good friends or family
It’s good to talk and it’s good to get another perspective.
So if you feel the need to discuss your partner, select only people you trust.
More importantly, people who won’t judge you or your partner based on your moans.
See a professional.
They are impartial, it’s obviously confidential and they are EXPERTS.
If in the UK, consult Relate. They are a charity run organisation so the fees will be nominal.
The same service will be available in other countries
Or of course consult a professional privately.
Don’t see a third party as being necessary only when a relationship hits crisis point or as an extravagant unnecessary expense.
Consulting an expert is an excellent way to keep a relationship ticking over nicely plus it doesn’t have to be expensive if you use a charity like Relate.
Food for thought.
“The course of true love never did run smooth.” William Shakespeare
Follow the link below from Relate re couples therapy