It’s claimed that 60% of men and 45% of women will cheat at some point in their marriages.
Reading this got me thinking about the subject of cheating and quite frankly how horrible it is to find out you’ve been cheated on.
It’s happened to me a few times unfortunately BUT based on my own and other people’s experiences, I’m confident I know the 10 classic signs that he is cheating.
Read on for more information but I do caveat.
Tread very carefully and don’t jump to conclusions.
He will either:
- Change the access codes to his mobile suddenly (you used to be able to access)
- Be protective over his mobile and always on it.
- Leaving his phone unattended a lot. Trying to throw you off the scent.
- His messages and call log unusually empty or lacking entries because he has wiped incriminating evidence.
Mobile phones are generally a man’s second penis, so don’t under estimate the importance of them.
- Keeps mentioning the same name
A name will keep being mentioned in conversations.
I can’t add any more than that really. If a name keeps coming up and it never used to be then I would be suspicious.
- Working a lot more
Easy one to hide behind and hard to check but a classic sign of cheating.
Working away more or working stupidly long hours. Sudden frequent work trips are a cause for concern.
He is moody, distant and often snaps at you for no reason. He will over react in an argument and use it as an excuse to leave the house or leave your company.
- Appearance changes or personal hygiene improves
New clothes, new aftershave, new hair style, general increase in personal grooming or any sudden style change could be a sign he is cheating.
- Sexual Changes
He is either more interested in sex, wants to try different things or doesn’t want to have sex with you at all.
- Won’t commit to future engagements
He wriggles out of booking a future holiday or is hesitant to commit to future social events such as Christmas, weddings and particularly double dates.
He is generally not around as much as he used to be, often unavailable to you or suddenly pops out / disappears to the shops or into his shed.
- Accuses you
He accuses you of infidelity. Keeps checking your phone and is controlling and jealous over you.
- GUT INSTINCT
Never to be ignored. If you think something isn’t right, I’m afraid to say it probably isn’t. If a thought suddenly comes to you that he is cheating then it’s worth giving it serious consideration.
What to do if you think he is cheating
Most articles I’ve read on this subject recommend asking your partner outright if he is cheating. I believe this is the wrong approach in most instances.
I believe most men (who are cheating) will deny it, leaving you feeling stupid and paranoid.
Or potentially even worse, what happens if they are not cheating? The repercussions of this are just as serious.
So what should you do? Here are a few tips:
- DO NOT immediately accuse him.
- Stay calm and logically try to gather evidence. If you are struggling on your own consult a third party (see below).
- Talk to a family member or close friend. But do this with caution. Once you’ve mentioned you think your husband is having an affair you can’t un-say it. So only confide in one person and someone you absolutely trust.
- Hire a Private Investigator. I think this is the best method if you can afford it. They are objective, discreet and professional. If your husband is cheating they will prove it.
- If you don’t have evidence then do not confront your Partner, it will do more harm than good. If they are cheating you will eventually find the evidence but it may require some patience.
- If you are struggling to cope then consult a Professional Counsellor or Therapist to help you work through things. Contact Relate at http://relate.org.uk who are a non profit organisation so will be able to provide assistance at a cheaper rate for you.